Recently I was reading a Brain Pickings post about the struggle John Steinbeck endured while writing The Grapes of Wrath.

Steinbeck kept a daily diary while writing the book that would earn him both Pulitzer and Nobel prizes. Brain Pickings has posted excerpts from this diary, and it’s pretty enlightening stuff.

 

Here's what you have in common in John Steinbeck

 

The struggle is too real

While reading “How Steinbeck Used the Diary as a Tool of Discipline, a Hedge Against Self-Doubt, and a Pacemaker for the Heartbeat for Creative Work,” I began to realize how much John Steinbeck and I have in common.

The simple act of making yourself sit down and work, thinking everything you create is garbage, feeling like the praise others give you for your work is unearned and that you’re a fraud … well, you don’t have to be an award-winning writer to relate to this. Right?

Steinbeck wrote every day in his journal about the process of writing what he hoped would be his master work. And as the kids say, the struggle was real. Check out some quotes from his journal:

 

"I must re-establish the discipline. Must get tough. So many attractive things are happening that it is difficult."   "Yesterday was a bust and I’m sorry but I think today will be all right."   "Always something. Just more this time. I can do it and I will do it, by God. It is just the discipline that is all. I’m wasting time today and I don’t care much. Everything goes in circles and I must think WORK."   "If I can do that it will be all my lack of genius can produce. For no one else knows my lack of ability the way I do. I am pushing against it all the time. Sometimes, I seem to do a good little piece of work, but when it is done it slides into mediocrity."   "I only hope it is some good. I have very grave doubts sometimes. I don’t want this to seem hurried. It must be just as slow and measured as the rest but I am sure of one thing — it isn’t the great book I had hoped it would be. It’s just a run-of-the-mill book. And the awful thing is that it is absolutely the best I can do. Now to work on it."

 

I mean… ugh. It’s so hard to read this knowing on a much smaller level exactly what this struggle feels like. Anytime I sit down to write anything, it’s like pulling teeth. I procrastinate, get distracted easily, and eventually hate every word.

 

[caption id=”attachment_4943” align=”aligncenter” width=”950”]What you can learn about self-doubt from John Steinbeck John Steinbeck image via Mashable[/caption]

 

Getting through it

In the end, Steinbeck’s diary did what it was supposed to do: it kept him on track, he did the work, and The Grapes of Wrath was a masterpiece.

I’m never going to attempt to write anything comparable to The Grapes of Wrath, but there are still lessons to be learned from the effort Steinbeck documented, the most important being:

You have to do the work for the work to ever have a chance at being successful. [click to Tweet this]

It’s somewhat comforting knowing that one of the most celebrated American writers of all time felt what I feel — that the struggle doesn’t mean I’m a failure, or that I should find another line of work.

 

I highly suggest giving the Brain Pickings post a read, and checking out Steinbeck’s diary, Working Days: The Journals of The Grapes of Wrath, if you have the time.