What professional women should actually keep at their desks

Last week I saw a post from Business Insider that caught my eye. It was titled “11 Things Every Professional Woman Should Keep At Her Desk.”

This should be interesting, I thought. As I clicked on the link and started reading, I suddenly wondered if I’d opened an Onion article instead.

Fashion Emergency Kit. A pair of flats. A pair of heels. What?

Deodorant. Deodorant remover sponge. Okay, I guess.

A black cardigan or blazer. Natural looking nail polish. Makeup bag with essentials. Dry shampoo. Are you effing kidding me?

I’ll admit a couple of items on the list are things any professional could benefit from keeping in their office.

An umbrella, if you live in that kind of climate. Deodorant, if yours doesn’t last the day. Hair ties, for when you need your hair out of your face (like me, almost all of the men in my office have long hair they tie back when eating).

But the rest of the list? Ridiculous at best. Wildly sexist at worst.

Why This List Sucks

Here’s the thing: not all professional women are alike. Job expectations vary from industry to industry.

I happen to work in an environment that allows for a more casual appearance. So makeup and heels? Not something I have to deal with. Does that make me and my colleagues less professional? No.

The list curated by Business Insider isn’t insulting because it includes items specific to women’s appearances. It’s insulting because it ONLY includes items specific to women’s appearances.

For some women, appearance is only a small part of what they have to worry about during the day. For others, it doesn’t matter at all.

And that is what this list, which is aimed at “every” professional woman, fails to recognize.

What the Professional Women I Know Keep At Their Desks

Just for fun, I decided to take inventory of what I keep at my desk. The list includes aspirin, headphones, snacks, water, lip balm, hand lotion, a notebook, pens, and my laptop charger. I also keep a bottle of whiskey nearby for special occasions (like Fridays).

I asked the women in my office and in the building in which I work, whose positions range from CEO to Web Designer to Building Administrator, what they keep at their desks. Here were their answers:

— “Pickles, Hot Tamales and a pear.”

— “Gatorade, headphones and chargers. Chargers are muy importante, especially if you’ll be at your desk all day.”

— “Coffee, headphones, gum, pen. Oh, and phone.”

— “Decent headphones, a microfiber cloth to clean screens, a mini NERF gun, snacks, and ergonomic setup — raise your screen, yo.”

— “A note pad that is only for ideas or sketches. You never know when an idea will hit so I always have it close. An awesome water cup, Gunnars for long screen time, a stash of “good” pens you don’t leave out, and diet tonic water. You never know when gin might show up.”

Bottom Line

Business Insider most likely did not mean to suggest that appearance is all that matters to professional women. But I feel it’s still important to push back on seemingly innocuous articles like this one in order to present a better, more-rounded picture of women in the workplace.

The bottom line is, appearance is important to some professional jobs. It is not important to all professional jobs, or all professional women.

So, tell me, women and men. What do you keep at your desk?